Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Pastor's Wife Poem

I thought the pastor's wife poem by a friend of mine would resonate with people. It really hits the nail on the head. The poem is too good not to keep and I appreciate my friend for allowing me to post her Pastor's Wife Poem. The sentiment goes well with my article about when pastors' wives burn out. This issue is one of the more hidden parts of ministry. Hopefully these two articles will help begin the conversation.


You look right through me,
It's as though I'm not there.
I rock your child in the nursery or
play with your son or daughter in preschool there.
I substitute for the Sunday School class teacher,
fill in for the youth minister,
and serve as extra hands, eyes or ears.

These things I do gladly, 
because I care.
It's a calling that my husband
and I share.
I remind myself that others,
do care.

I always bring a dish to the potluck.
Then, I usually stay around to clean up.
I do my best to attend the ladies meeting,
preschool, outreach and prayer group,
make phone calls and send cards.

On Sundays, you look right through me.
You shake my husband's hand and tell him
"Great job there!"
I stand at the door beside him,
you barely look up, it's as though I'm not there.

At Christmas, you give my husband gift.
I stand and watch, happy for him.
For pastors appreciate month, you give him a card.
I stand and watch, happy for him.
At his birthday, the congregation sings.
I stand and watch, happy for him.

Today was Sunday,
The nursery teacher couldn't be there.
I forced a smile as I was volunteered.
The youth director can't be there tonight.
You say you hate to ask and then you say,
"Do you mind?"

Today, it was my birthday.

The pianist forgot.
The song leader didn't see the note.
My husband wished me a happy birthday from the pulpit.
"Isn't that cute?" Someone said.
No one sang.

Then as you leave,
I stand right there,
You shake my husband's hand,
and tell him "Good job there."
Then you look right at me,
as though I'm not there.
I tell myself it's a calling,
that we both share.
But sometimes I ask myself
"Does anyone care?"


I can resonate with parts of the poem that my friend wrote and I believe that other pastors' wives can too. Many wives of pastors will tell you that they are the unpaid, unsung, uncared about heroes of the pastors family. No one else has more to do at the church that the wife.

The pastor is seldom called on to fix meals for the sick, fill in as a chaperone, or confided in as much as the pastors wife. She's as likely to fix a breakfast casserole for the men's breakfast as she is to bake something for the ladies lunch. There are exceptions but it seldom works the other way around.

If you have a chance to brighten the life of your pastors's wife, then please do. It's the little things that add up. Take a moment to jot her a note, give her a hug or make a phone call. Wives just like knowing that someone is there for them now and then. If you have children that are the same age, then offer to watch them at your house. Encourage the church to do something nice for the pastor and wife as a couple.

Always take the chance, pray for your pastor, your pastor's wife and their entire family. Doing so isn't just an investment in them as a couple or family, it's an investment toward making your church stronger. Prayer takes only a minute, doesn't cost anything but time and provides a needed boost. Then, make it a point to tell your pastor's wife that you prayed for her. That only takes a minute, it's free and it can make the soul of your pastor's wife sing with gladness.